Is he the one? I asked myself this question a lot in the lead up to the wedding. I asked anyone that would listen how they knew when they had found "the one". I got a whole lot of "You'll just know" - but I didn't just know. And that answer made me want to freak out.
Sure I loved Mr B. Loved him more than I'd ever loved anyone before. But when is love enough? How much love is enough? These thoughts kept me awake late at night in the lead up to our wedding.
The scary thing about love is that you have to put your heart in someone else's hands. You have to trust that love is enough, that love will be enough. Forever. And forever is a really long time.
I still don't know if I believe there is only one person for everyone. I think there are probably lots of people for everyone. You just have to find the one that makes you the happiest. Then hold on to their hand and jump off the cliff of marriage and try to enjoy the ride! No one really knows what's at the bottom. But together you can work it out as you go along.
So now when people ask me how do you know when someone is "the one" I say -
I think "the one" is the person that makes you feel most like yourself. The one you can always be yourself around. The one that loves you even when you're being an ass. The one that you want to call first when you have good news. The one that you couldn't imagine your life without. The one that makes a bad day better. The one that makes life fun.
My favorite photo of us since we've been married - a crazy blurry iphone mess that makes me smile my face off every time I look at it.The one that wears a pirate hat with you in your kitchen on a Wednesday night.
That's the one for me.
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Great post, Mrs. T! I love your perspective!
I love this. Love it to pieces and want to wrap myself inside it. I did a lot of this thinking when we started talking about marriage. It's important, and there were no perfect answers. But I think you get as close as any of us can. And that, along with commitment, is right for me.
Great post Mrs. T! Great insight! I totally agree with you! And I miss your posts!
So true...I am not a big believer in the 'one' but rather a believer in making yourself the one in a relationship who truly knows yourself enough to know when someone else is good or bad for you. Great perspective, lady!
Oh how I love thee, Mrs T!
I don't believe in 'the one' either. But I believe in what feels right.
It's funny, I've been thinking the same thing lately, and I totally agree. And I notice something.
When people are looking to date or starting a dating relationship, it's all "I love HIS sense of humor, I want a GUY who's mature," etc. But when I think about why I'm marrying Adam, instead of focusing on my expectations of him, I think "he makes ME feel loved, he gets MY sense of humor." I think that's exactly what people mean by soul mate. The connection is deeper when you start thinking in terms of yourself in relationship, not him as novelty.
hurrah for Mrs T and Mr B!
Not only is the pirate hat B.A., but the inflatable parrot is, too.
I think it's a good point to bring up whether or not love is enough. I don't think it is. It takes a lot more than love, it takes work and trust, among other things. But love is definitely a good place to start. And pirate hats.
Beautiful, well-written post! And the most awesome picture EVER!
Thanks for the comments guys. I was so nervous about this post after I sent it off - and then it was too late to change it!!
Thanks Jenn for letting me blog on your blog x
I love what Miss C had to say -- "..what feels right" -- I couldn't agree more. Marriage is part of an evolving journey through life, and its best travelled with someone you're comfortable with, that makes you laugh so hard you cry!
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