GO TO BED!

{via}

Don't leave things to the very last minute that could have been done weeks, days or hours before. Even though I was on top of my to-do lists for the major wedding things the personal things I wanted to finish were left until the very last moments before I went to sleep and in some cases the next morning while I was getting ready. So here is some advice I have for you; if you want to make a book for your future husband do it the day before or the week before the wedding, if you want to write notes to your parents and future mother-in-law do it the day before or the week before.

Don't wait until the last moments of the night when you are in bed surrounded by papers and crafts watching weekend update on SNL thinking to yourself OMG I have to be up to shower in 4 hours and then I have to be awake for 18 hours to survive this day! GO TO BED! Finish the things you want to do before this day so you can sleep. Trust me you will need the sleep! Luckily I finished most of my (stupidly, last minute) projects before SNL finished and I was sleeping by 1:30am. I felt this in the morning, but it could have been a lot worse.

Sponsored Post: Q&A with Name Change Express

You may remember just a few months before the wedding I decided to change my name for a lot of reasons. Now that we are 3 weeks past the wedding and we have received the certified marriage license from the state, I can actually get the process started. I have decided to change my name using one of the online name changing services Name Change Express.*

The company itself was started by a couple who knew first hand what a hassle it was to change your name not only with the government but also all the other companies you do business with on a daily basis. So for a little more information on Name Change Express here is a Q&A with Marco the founder.

1) What inspired you to start Name Change Express?

a. My own personal experience. After we got married, my wife was incredibly busy, initially with a career at Intel Corporation and subsequently in management consulting with Deloitte Consulting and Booz & Company (formerly Booz Allen Hamilton). She simply couldn’t find the time to figure out how to change her name and with travelling every week for her consulting career, she finally told me that “if you want me to take your name, then you must do it for me”.

b. I said sure, how hard could it be and started to look for services to help us through this and not finding any comprehensive service, I came up with the idea of introducing a service to help brides through this. Since 9 out of 10 brides decide to change their name, we realized that many others could be going through the same difficulties we experienced – we wanted to help. I conducted market research through my classes in business school and determined that an overwhelming majority of brides surveyed were confused about the name change process and strongly valued services to assist.

2) What tips would you give to couples pondering name changes?

a. We recommend that couples discuss one another’s preferences well in advance of the wedding date. It’s very important to not take for granted what preferences someone may have around changing their name. While some brides are very excited changing their name, others are unsure if they want to and see it as a way of losing their identity. Others will also outright say that they will definitely not change their name. Add to this that some states will require that they declare what they would like their names to be after the wedding when applying for a marriage license, then it becomes even more important to have this discussion early on.

b. Keep in mind that there are many options today to maintain your identity but to still feel like a part of your spouse if that is what you would like to do. Some popular options today include:

i. Retaining your maiden name as your middle name

ii. Hyphenating your maiden name and your spouse’s last name as your new last name

3) What is the name change process?

a. The act of getting married allows you to change your name so once you have your certified marriage certificate in hand then you can start changing your name.

b. Start by notifying the Social Security Administration (SSA). Fill out form SS-5 and while you can mail it in, we recommend that you visit your local SSA office to apply for the name change to avoid having to mail in original documents like your driver’s license and original marriage certificate.

c. After applying for a name change with the SSA, inform your employer to ensure that your wages are posted correctly to your Social Security record.

d. The SSA will then notify the IRS of the change but if your address has changed then you should notify the IRS by filling out form 8822.

e. Next you should go in person to your local driver licensing division and apply for an updated driver’s license with your new name; note that while states don’t typically enforce this rule, many do require that you update your driver’s license within 30 days of having gotten married. Some states also require that you apply for an updated driver’s license after 24-72 hours of notifying the SSA as they do verification with the SSA and other states require that you have an updated Social Security card in hand when applying. The bottom line is that you should make sure you understand the rules in your state to save yourself a trip and to get it done the first time.

i. Note that Name Change Express does inform you of the specific rules for your state if you purchase our $30 package.

f. Next you should notify other government agencies like for the US Passport Agency and Voter’s Registration.

g. Lastly you should notify everyone else that you do business with. This includes banks, credit card companies, insurance institutions, mortgage and other loan companies, investment providers, utilities, medical providers, loyalty programs, professional licenses, communications and entertainment, memberships, and subscriptions.

h. Many people that are changing their names end up with 25-30 organizations that they must inform so we recommend that you start building a list of who you must inform even before you get married; that way, you’ll have a very complete list when you’re ready to start and won’t be stuck when you forget to update an airline for example but then end up traveling on it (it can be a real hassle to try to get frequent flyer mileage credit after the fact).

i. You can use the Name Change Express site to build this list at no cost to you.

4) What sets NCE apart from other name changing companies?

a. We believe several key areas set us apart from other name change services:

i. We’re the only name change service that provides company-specific name change requirements for 100’s of companies across the U.S.; this includes companies like Citibank, American Express, Geico, United Airlines and many, many more. We let clients who purchase the $30 service know exactly what these companies require to process their name, where they have to mail notification letters, and what documents must be included. Our clients love this aspect of our service as it really sets us apart from our competitors. We’ve even had clients email us saying that because of this one feature alone that even though they purchased a competitor’s service, they ended up switching to us.

And if we don’t already have a company in our database that a client needs to inform, clients can submit the company to us, we’ll research it and make it available quickly.

ii. We strongly believe in the freemium model, where companies encourage potential clients to try out services at no cost to the client. We are the only name change service that allows brides to do this and have set up our service to allow brides and others wanting to change their name to receive a free personalized guidebook to get started with their name change with the relevant federal agencies. The guidebook includes all of the instructions and forms they’ll need to get started. Overall clients have been very satisfied with our free package and many choose to upgrade to our $30 service.

iii. We don’t request or collect any sensitive information on the website. Information like account numbers and social security numbers are never asked for on the website. Instead, we’ve built patent-pending technology in the PDF guidebook that you download that allows you to enter your sensitive information one time and have it propagated to all of the forms and notification letters that requires it. In fact, you don’t even have to be connected to the web while entering this information. We believe this is the best way to protect your privacy and identity: to simply not ask for it.

5) What trends are you seeing in name changing?

a. For our clients, the most popular option is for brides to retain their maiden name as their middle name.

b. We also have some clients that choose to hyphenate their maiden name and spouse’s last name.

c. Additionally, one of the most interesting trends we’ve seen, though small in number, is that we’ve seen married men choosing to change their last names to their wife’s last name.

6) In the wake of gay marriage legalization in several states, how are you adapting your services to be inclusive to same-sex couples?

a. In those states where gay marriage has been legalized, newlywed couples should have no issue using our service in that all of the instructions and forms we provide are applicable since these couples receive a government-issued marriage certificate, which is required by the SSA to update a name on their records.

b. We have been in touch with the SSA and they have verified that couples with this in hand or even a domestic partnership certificate should have no issue updating their name with the SSA, which is really the first place to start.

c. However, in practice, some same sex-couples may run into issues at their local SSA office as not all offices are aware of the procedures to follow in such cases. But couples should ask to speak to a manager if they do run into issues and feel rest assured that they have met the requirements of the SSA to change their name when they have a government-issued marriage certificate in hand.

d. Couples who live in states that have not legalized same-sex marriage can consider going to court to apply for a name change. Once they have a court order in hand, they are also fully able to utilize the Name Change Express service to subsequently update their name with the SSA and other government agencies and to then inform all of the organizations they do business with.

7) Is there anything else you would like engaged couples to know about NCE?

a. The founders and management team are deeply committed to making the overall name change experience for newlyweds as hassle-free as possible so we continually strive to improve the services we offer.

b. For more information on the services we offer and how to officially change your name, please visit the website at: www.NameChangeExpress and view the short video.

*Follow my first hand experience with Name Change Express and their name changing service in a future post.

After the party its the hotel...

roof

Unlike R-Kelly's lyrics we didn't have our after party (after the rehearsal dinner) in the hotel lobby. We had it on the roof of the Hotel Erwin at their rooftop bar High. Eric and I wanted to have a place to gather our friends on Saturday night after most of them arrived in LA. The hotel bar was one of the main reasons we booked Hotel Erwin as our wedding hotel. This gave us the opportunity to spend more time with our guests and also see people who were not at the rehearsal dinner.

The wedding party and a lot of the rehearsal dinner guests all gathered at the hotel bar after the dinner. Our friends trickled in one by one and it turned into quite a little pre-party. I think it really got people excited for the next day and it was so fun to realize we were only hours away from the wedding where EVERYONE would be together.

The menus are lighted because you are on a roof at night! How awesome is this? It was kind of a chilly night but that didn't stop people from coming out and enjoying a couple drinks. Even Eric's Grandparents hung out.Cold friends but ultimately happy friends. After last call we all went our separate ways. Last call was pretty early; because of the guests in the hotel it is at midnight, which was officially our wedding day! Eric walked me to my room and kissed me goodnight. The next time would be in my wedding dress.
{courtesy of}

A Bride's Brain Blog Guidelines

Please excuse this interruption in our regularly scheduled blogging...

In December the FTC changed some of their guidelines and regulations that affect bloggers. I decided because of these changes it would be a good time to inform all of you some of the guidelines that I have set up on A Bride's Brain.

1. 1. I always try to source images or information that I use on this blog correctly and accurately. It is always my intention to give credit where credit is due. If you see something on my blog that isn't properly sourced please let me know. If you see something on my blog that belongs to you and you would rather it not be on my blog please, please let me know by emailing me abridesbrain (@) gmail (.) com.
2. Comments on A Bride's Brain are monitored. I reserve the right to take down any comments that I deem inappropriate. It is my belief that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and disagreement. If that opinion is rude, inappropriate, hurtful or SPAM I will take it down. It is my objective to use A Bride's Brain as a place of inspiration, knowledge and community in wedding planning and in marriage. Because of this we need to be respectful of each other. Thankfully I have not had to delete one comment since the inception of this blog and I hope to keep that record going.
3. As of December 1, 2009 the FTC has new regulations requiring bloggers to disclose any paid for relations with companies/products/services that sponsor or advertise. Because of this if A Bride's Brain runs any posts that are sponsored or advertisement posts you will be informed directly. It is my intent to be honest and forthcoming with all opportunities presented to me by this blog and to the readers of this blog.

It is very important to me as a blogger, a bride and a bridal blogger that I have full disclosure. Up until this point most of my posts about vendors have been on my own vendors because I used them personally and I stand behind their products and services. In the future this may change but I will never post about anything I do not believe in or believe will be beneficial to you as readers. If in the future there are guests posts from someone other than myself you will be notified of this. I hope you will continue to have faith in my posts sponsored or not. I only write and stand behind things I believe in.

Thank you for being a reader of A Bride's Brain I appreciate the relationships I have with each and everyone of you and the community we are growing here.

Help out a fellow bride.

This sucks!

Do you know anyone who can help? We are all in this together right?

*Sigh*, Jill does it again!

I interrupt the recaps to bring you awesomeness from our photographer Jill Thomas! She did a blog post today on our wedding and I am swooning, seriously swooning. Go check it out now! Recaps will resume when I catch my breath again. Thank you Jill!

All photos courtesy of Jill Thomas Photography.

Our non-rehearsing rehearsal

We had our rehearsal dinner at Cafe Del Rey (CDR) in Marina Del Rey, CA. CDR is centrally located from the Hotel Erwin and they have great food so it was a no brainier when choosing the location.

After the dress drop off I came home in what could be classified as my only breakdown of the entire weekend. I was frazzled from the entire situation at the hotel and I was really beginning to realize what it means to have everyone you know and love in one place at one time. Although everyone was offering help with the best intentions it was a high stress situation. Eric casually talked me down and helped me realize that if this was the only thing that went off track the entire weekend we were in good shape.

Eric and I got ready together at the apartment. I kissed our kitty goodbye, mentioning that after the next day he wouldn't be a bastard anymore and we were off in these outfits...

{jill thomas photography}

It was nice just being in the car with Eric before the dinner. It was sort of the calm before the storm. The last moments of us being alone before we moved into married life. We listened to music and enjoyed our short drive to the other side of town. When we arrived at CDR no one had arrived there yet. Eric's Mom, Brother and family friend Judy were setting up the room so Eric and I along with Jon went to the bar and waited for everyone to arrive.

{photo courtesy of jon reid}

We didn't have to wait long, family and friends arrived and we all moved into the private room to enjoy the wine and beer hour. Everyone was talking, mingling, drinking it was so fun to have everyone in one room finally meeting one another. My niece Isabella was being adorable. She went around the room showing everyone her "pretty dress". We sat down Roberta welcomed everyone and we started to eat. The food was fabulous and the service was even better.

{my parents enjoying the meal, courtesy of my little sister}

{flower girl/niece Isabella with Eric and I}

Post dinner we had a "surprise" our parents put together a bunch of pictures for Jon to compile into a slide show. After about 30 minutes of setting up the projector we watched the awesome slide show. I wish there was a way I could post it for you.* after the slide show Roberta gave the loveliest speech. She made us laugh, she made us cry and she made me so happy to have a Mother In Law like her.

{photo courtesy of jon reid}

We were served dessert which was the best part of the entire meal! Eric and I passed out the presents and we all departed for the hotel and the impromptu after party that we set up on the roof.

The only rehearsal that took place was a short little meeting at our table with the wedding party that basically said "When we get to the venue tomorrow you will find out where to walk." That is really all you need to know when you are in a wedding; how to walk in a straight line and where to stand at the end. At least for our wedding it is.

*There actually probably is, I will work on that!